Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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