Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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