That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
