how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
