Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
