my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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