3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
