i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
