oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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