The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
