Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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