you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
