I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
