if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Can you bring me the toilet please
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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