I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I need water and some morals
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
