no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
