It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
