Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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