I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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