so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
