You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize