Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
