did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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