I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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