Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
