Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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