dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
