just come out here and I will go home with you...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
