Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
