break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
