I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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