can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
