he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
