you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
