But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I cut my penus on the lid.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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