At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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