just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
