You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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