i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
