We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
