i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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