exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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