Are we in a gay sports bar?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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