Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
