So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
