ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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