yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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