? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My sheets look like a crime scene.
one might say we're banned from that church
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
