dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
