Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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