why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
