WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
